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Batman vs The Giant Hand - "If You're Bored Of the Planet Earth" [Bottled Whispers |Engage Time Machine |Channeled Spirits|Magick Mirror]
Jack Babalon

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Batman vs The Giant Hand [Mar. 15th, 2006|03:19 pm]
Jack Babalon

Holy Exposition Bat-Man!

I really wish they still made Batman comics like this. Comics that seem like they were ghost written by unknown members of the beat generation, who were apparently under the influence of the various narcotics scored for them by the William S Burroughs of Earth-1.

Now don't get me wrong. I have much love for the grim and gritty Reagan fueled dystopia of Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns and Batman:Year One. But after awhile I feel like i'm reading about some horrible fucked up version of Richard Branson, only instead of being content with a shitty reality show, has instead taken up beating up the poor and the criminally insane while dressed up as the bondage version of a winged mammal as a way of coping with his parent issues.

I'm not much for grim and gritty superheroes. First of all wearing a bright pair of leotards is not 'grim', you look like a fetish freak who did too much E at carnival. Crouching on roof tops in the rain while pontificating your secret origin will not make you seem more serious.

"Hey Rob, why are you wearing skin tight pajamas to the office?"

"My parents were brutally murdered in front of me twenty years ago."

"Oh... dude... that sucks."

"It 'sucks' even more to those who would cast a foul shadow of crime across this city...for those fiends will surely face the two-fisted justice of JACK BABALON!!!!"

"Yeah. Um, wow...so how's that working for you? Wait. Y'know what never mind i'm just gonna get back to work now..."

Or just imagine trying to watch Law & Order:SVU if occasionally a man in a rubber suit and a mask with pointy ears stepped out of the shadows to offer Richard Beltzer and Ice-T some help in finding the rapist/child molester of the week. You'd laugh your ass off or change the channel most likely.

For me I like that kitsch sense of the fantastic. Rainbow ray guns, traveling back in time to fight gorilla cowboys who ride dinosaurs, boxing aliens from outer space in a fishbowl or just trying to survive various attacks from giant hands.

Worlds Greatest Detective fails to notice giant hand reaching for him....

"Ahhh finally a chance to get away from Gotham City and enjoy a nice quiet day at the lake... awww fer chrissakes ... not again!"

[User Picture]From: sanityescapesme
2006-03-16 01:29 am (UTC)
I actually like the gritty heroes once in a while...I think that the X-Men movies come closest to portraying heroes in a real-world setting....Although Magneto's helmet still looks pretty lame.

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[User Picture]From: catwalk
2006-03-16 03:44 am (UTC)
oh. my. god.
i think we used to have that exact issue...
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