|It's Just A God Damn Job
||[Dec. 23rd, 2016|01:03 am]
Countless were the shit jobs we had to do in the Navy but none more tiresome than having to muster for Tentacle Duty. This was when the more expendable members of the crew were dutifully issued axes and told to hack away at the Giant Hentai Squids of the North Atlantic that were attempting to mate with the ship. |
What a fucking chore that was let me tell you.
You'd be there chopping away at some great rape-beast from the deep, cigarette clenched in side of scowl, sleep deprived after pulling a 12-4 watch,weird green blood splattered all over your face and knowing you got three more years of this shit before your happy ass is a civilian again.Of course some of us found it more... cathartic than others and few are the times I'd run into some old salt at a bar who'd ask me how many Tentacle Duty Shifts I pulled.
Thirteen I always answer and we get to talking and drinking and inevitably we both get this faraway look in our eyes. Imagining writhing and freshly decapitated tentacles flopping on the deck of the fantail, the stray bursts of gun fire, the smell of dying Hentai Squid (like a dumpster behind Long John Silvers where a orchid garden has inexplicably grown), the screams of those unlucky shipmates hoisted up and dragged to the bottom...
... it could've been me or any of my buddies (but never a fucking zero naturally as they were too busy watching from the bridge with the Old Man).
Still... you don't join the Navy to NOT fight Giant Hentai Squids do you?